The mask underneath!!! or over!!!

via Daily Prompt: Pretend

What kind of a person are you when no one is watching; wondered the guy, looking at the faces in the masquerade ball.


Published as a two-line story prompt.

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The sound of silence


There I was sitting quietly, lost in thoughts. Surrounded by hundreds of people, yet aloof in a way. Random thoughts swirling in my head like things tossed around in a mid-west tornado. People talking, dancing, music playing in the background. Yet everything felt quiet. It sometimes feels like I just shut out the external world and go deep into my own.

I sometimes wonder, sitting amidst all that chaos, how my mind even does that. One moment I’m sitting there, listening to people talking around me, and then the next it’s all switched off and I’m in my head. It feels like a completely different place. It’s like changing channels on a television set. It’s like switching from watching a channel playing a crappy soap opera to an orchestra playing heavenly music. It feels good. It feels serene. 

I guess some people can just do that at will. It works out well for people like me who tend to be a little towards the introvert side of the spectrum. We cannot process too much information at a time. We need our space. Input tends to become information overload very quickly.

Silence tends to become the best friend. I tend to stare blankly,  sometimes, at nothing in particular. Not necessarily contemplating anything specific, but just staring. I don’t know if many people can relate to that kind of an act. I mean how do explain staring at a wall thinking about nothing. i’m sure it will sound crazy if you try to explain it to somebody. 😀 But then the mind works in crazy ways.


But for me, most of the time, silence is so much more tranquil and soothing in a way. Of course there is music that does that too. 🙂  Silence is soothing, ok got it. but whats with the sound of silence in the title, you ask!!! Well, its like they say for heat, coldness is just lack of heat. Its the same with silence.

Have you ever heard rainfall pounding on a tin roof, from under the roof? And then all of a sudden, the rain stops. Silence, so much so that you can hear your breathe all of a sudden. Thats what it feels like to switch off. Thats what it feels like to sit quietly, lost in thoughts.

Edited in response to the daily prompt as a first attempt – Silence

Learning to un

What was I thinking, trying to learn something I don’t know!!! Why is it so hard? You are probably thinking, here he goes questioning again. 🙂 Well, I’m trying to get my head around going about learning one of the hundreds of thousands of things I don’t know about.

What does it entail, trying to learn something new; something which you haven’t done before or something that you don’t understand much about. Developing an interest in the subject, comes to mind first. And then you figure out ways to delve deeper into the subject depending on the interest level and accessibility of resources.

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Unlearn

Well, accessibility of resources is not much of an excuse these days as everything is available at your fingertips, if you pretty much have the inclination.

But what if you have to learn to unlearn what you already know before actually trying to learn what you want to know!!! Isn’t that some thought!  🙂

How would go about doing that? I mean if learning is difficult, I can only imagine unlearning might be worse. You possibly could not erase what’s in your memory as easily as you would erase data from a memory disk drive. If the brain were that simple, we would’ve actually understood by now, how the brain works. 🙂

What do YOU think about that then???

This is the 3rd prompt for the daily blog challenge, although at this point it feels like write-whenever-you-feel-like-challenge. 🙂 The topic was given by my sis for a single word prompt: Unlearn.

You talking to me ???

“In difficult times, use a mirror. You will see both the cause and resolution.”

I just stood there staring into the eyes. That dark circular abyss, seemed to spiral on and on deeper into something unknown. There was something hypnotizing about them. What were they trying to say? Where were they leading to?

I wonder how the world looks like through those eyes. What do those eyes make of the chaos that goes on, on the other side. May be they just see and don’t process anything of it. But what good would that be.

I sometimes can’t stop myself from pondering over the thought of the possible depths those eyes could lead you to. What would you be able find as you delve deeper. What mysteries are waiting to be uncovered. What questions waiting to be answered. Or better yet, what questions are waiting to be questioned.

But then again am i listening hard enough to know what questions those eyes are asking, is another thing i muse on about. Quietly observing and questioning everything i do, or don’t do. Looking at the world with dismay, wondering where the world is heading to. at the same time, looking on with hope towards better times.

And then i blink and it hits me, have I been talking to the world or am i just staring into the mirror !!!

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reflection on window

This post is a result of a prompt from my dear sis for a 30 day daily blog challenge. Day 1 of the same is “Mirror, Mirror: What if your mirror started talking to you?”.

Rainy day confessions

What is it about the rain that brings the romantic in you? We notice the rain and we either want to drench in it or curl up by the window with a nice hot coffee in hand, possibly a good book as well. 😉 ; more so of the latter as we grow older.

No matter what mood you find yourself in at the time, rain and coffee keep you company like nothing else can. 

Rain. Hmm. Just thinking about watching the rain fall from a window gives me a sense of serenity. It’s one of the best feelings. The sound of falling water is music to the ear. 

As kids most of us looked forward to the rains. It was a chance to get wet, hop and jump onto puddles, splash water at friends and just have a good time. Tends to bring out the child in most of us even as adults. 

Coffee. How mankind survived before coffee was invented is beyond me. 🙂 coffee is by far the most traded commodity and most consumed beverage; hardly surprising. I’m a big fan of good coffee and love trying new coffee varieties. Learning the coffee making process and brewing is something I’d love to do some day. 

Look at me rambling about coffee just at the thought of it. I could just go on and on, that’s how much of a coffee fanatic I am. 

Books. The friend who’s always by your side. You are missing something if you don’t feel the need to have a good book by your side. 

Rain. Coffee. Book. The best threesome combination you will find. I cannot think of a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon. 

What do you like to do on a rainy afternoon? 

Perspective reality

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” – Marcus Aurelis

Perspective is really a double edged sword. It can both be enlightening as well as cloud you in obscurity and prejudice. Most people see what they want to see in most of the things that are in front of them, rather than seeing for as it is.

 I mean that’s how it is isn’t it !!! I can only interpret the world around me with what I know of it. I see a flower and I know it’s a rose because that’s how I’ve known it to be and that’s what I was taught to interpret it as. 

Which begs the question, what I was taught was another person’s perspective of the actual thing. How do I know the same thing that was labeled as a rose by my teacher is not actually an orchid. There is no way for me to find out what I see as red is the same thing that you see. 

There is no way for me to get into your mind to make absolutely certain of that. The way I see the world is never going to be the same way you see it. That’s the beauty of it. That’s what adds uniqueness to each one of us. 

But that’s also what clouds our horizon. You see the world and are clouded by your perception of it. The mind is very selectively biased in that way. Tending to see and reassure itself of what it knows about what lies in front and ignoring the unknown. How many times have we watched a movie scene and walked away with a certain  picture about it in our minds; only to be provided a completely different interpretation of it by a friend and thought I never imagined it could be thought of, in that way. 

We see. We remember. We compare. We analyse. That’s how we make sense of everything. That’s how we find meaning. But then again is meaning something to be found ? Do I find a meaning for my life or create one ? Do I find myself from years and years of wandering about or create a self through the previous experiences ?

It’s all about you and the long road. Nobody can see the life that you’ve passed through the way you did; and more importantly what lies ahead. So expand your horizons; know more about the world around you and let the knowledge uncover secrets about yourself you didn’t know existed. If there is beauty inside, the lens you see through paints a whole new picture of the outside; A picture that you may not have seen before. 

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Questions… The only way you can really tell that you are still human and alive.

What am I doing here??? Where am I heading??? What makes me ME??? Why didn’t I go about doing that??? Why did I do that??? Why didn’t I read that book or article instead of wiling away my time on the Internet again???

So many questions and the only way to find answers is to keep repeating them!!! Well, if you don’t repeat the questions, your mind just conjures up so many more that you literally can’t keep track of; let alone find answers to.

You replace every single cell in your body entirely in the span of 7 years. Every single one of it. Which means you literally are not the same person you were 7 years ago. So what are you then? Or rather, who ???

It’s the simplest of questions really. Who am I ? And yet most us don’t have a damn clue. If you can answer to that question though, you probably are not fit to be on this godforsaken heap of a planet. What’s left to do if you found the answer to that anyway. 😉

So till the time, Keep questioning !!! Until you get sick of the questions and move your a** to find some answers.

Here’s a couple to “begin” with ; how did I end up here ? And why am I reading this ??? 😉

That half read book !!!

One night, I found myself staring at the ceiling fan in my room, with a half read book in my hand. The book, probably a science book I picked up to read, was just sitting there open on my lap, while my mind wandered aimlessly. After a while, just like that, the book goes back on the shelf and I return to staring at the fan.
It’s been this way more often than not lately. A quite afternoon to myself with a book was something I used to cherish very much. But, gradually over the past, I seem to have lost the inclination to pick up a book and sustain an afternoon with it.
Back in the day, the book used to be my companion on most afternoons. I had this spot in my grandparent’s house, when i used to visit them during my summer holidays, when I was a kid. Sort of a seat along the stairs, running to the first floor beside the window. The view from the window was always cheerful. 🙂
The bright afternoon sun, Grandpa’s garden trees on one side, overlooking the main gate and the path leading to it, with the constant chattering of the elementary school kids from next door.
I used to run upstairs after lunch to browse through the shelves of books on the first floor, mostly academic books belonging to my cousins who stayed there and some older ones from my father’s college days, I think. I would get so excited at the thought of rummaging through the books all afternoon. 😀 The comic books I started reading those days, Phantom, Tintin, Amar Chitra Katha, Chacha Chowdhry and lot more, still remain close to my heart.
The first day I reach my grandparents home, after the initial excitement and euphoria of meeting relatives and cousins mellows down a bit, the afternoon would fly by sorting out the books, trying to find whatever interesting books I can. 🙂 After that I would stack up everything on one side of the shelf. That would be my collection for the rest of the summer season, till I head back home !!! 😀
I still find myself smiling, thinking about those memories !!! 🙂 Now, I can’t help thinking, where has all that excitement and enthusiasm for a book gone !!! How can I be missing so much of positive feelings that I once had with books ??? May be I am missing that spot !!! May be I need to find myself another such spot to rekindle the Fervor !!!
Do you ever get the feeling that you sometimes associate certain activities with the place you used to do it from. You know, that you are so used to performing an activity from a set place of yours that subconsciously you don’t think about that particular activity unless you are at that place or think about that place ??? The Zone. I’ve felt that way. Quite often in fact.
Hmmm !!! Now that I’ve said that, I think I should start looking out for a park bench under the shade or a spot to lie down by the beach to finish the remaining half of the book. 🙂 And hopefully, one that can keep me going back to it, like i used to !!! 🙂

The cat on the side walk

Walking home from office I noticed this cat pruning itself; engrossed. Almost obsessed within. Ignorant of the world around. Does she realize there is the whole world around it !!! Does it even care !!!

Not very different from us, I suppose. So preoccupied with ourselves that we don’t realize that we get in the way of others sometimes. Trying to stay ahead in the race. Life does seem like a race these days. But does it have to mean that you can’t stop once a while to smell the flowers along the way !!! I don’t think so !!!

Step away from what you are doing for a second, put things in perspective and think about what you are going to remember about what you are doing right now, when you look back at your life down the years. Come to think of it I’m not quite sure what I’m taking with me along the way. Considering the life expectancy these days, half my life’s gone, may be even more, with almost no memory of what I did for the first one third of my life. Probably my parents would remember, fondly or not, I don’t know. 😉

Would’ve met so many people, done so many things. Laughed, fought and cried with so many others. Learnt so much ( obviously forgot a major portion of this one, considering my memory status right now 😉 ), tried to learn few things which I couldn’t, would’ve tried my hand at so many news things and the list goes on. But some things that do stick to my head, and I suppose it’s true with most people, is things I didn’t do. Sit down with a pen and paper and I’m sure I can fill up pages with a list of things I didn’t so but, would rather.

I was always into sports. Always been. From the plastic bats from when I was old enough to swing it to the tennis racket I picked up recently. Always played whatever I get a chance to try my hand at. Many times was like “God, I’m good at this”. 😀 Think about it now and I question why I didn’t take sports a little more seriously. I distinctly remember some one asking me if I played cricket professionally when I was really just tall enough to run with the bat in hand. Hmmm !!!

As long as you don’t think about those things you didn’t do, you see through them but when you do, somewhere, you feel the pinch. Looking down from the terrace in my apartment, so much is going on and you start to think, where is everybody going. Everything you look down on seems so insignificant. The building, the people, cars, the roads… That’s what our world is contained in. When you realize, our world, the earth, is just a speck of dust in the cosmos. Just a dot in the vast spaces of emptiness.

Speaking of empty, much of us is too. You see an atom is 90% of empty space and since everything is made up of atoms including us. Which means most of me is just empty space with protons, neutrons, and what ever particle names quantum physics can come up with, revolving around. So what am I !!!

Questions !!! Keep you thinking !!! Sometimes though, its better to forget the questions.Kick back… Make friends… Spread Love… Do what you are passionate about… Live life without regrets. Coz thats the only way you can fulfill living !!! Its not like there is a second innings to it !!!

Which reminds me, there is India vs England test match going on. Should i watch it or sleep to get up for office early morning tomorrow !!! There we go with questions again… 😀

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