That half read book !!!

One night, I found myself staring at the ceiling fan in my room, with a half read book in my hand. The book, probably a science book I picked up to read, was just sitting there open on my lap, while my mind wandered aimlessly. After a while, just like that, the book goes back on the shelf and I return to staring at the fan.
It’s been this way more often than not lately. A quite afternoon to myself with a book was something I used to cherish very much. But, gradually over the past, I seem to have lost the inclination to pick up a book and sustain an afternoon with it.
Back in the day, the book used to be my companion on most afternoons. I had this spot in my grandparent’s house, when i used to visit them during my summer holidays, when I was a kid. Sort of a seat along the stairs, running to the first floor beside the window. The view from the window was always cheerful. 🙂
The bright afternoon sun, Grandpa’s garden trees on one side, overlooking the main gate and the path leading to it, with the constant chattering of the elementary school kids from next door.
I used to run upstairs after lunch to browse through the shelves of books on the first floor, mostly academic books belonging to my cousins who stayed there and some older ones from my father’s college days, I think. I would get so excited at the thought of rummaging through the books all afternoon. 😀 The comic books I started reading those days, Phantom, Tintin, Amar Chitra Katha, Chacha Chowdhry and lot more, still remain close to my heart.
The first day I reach my grandparents home, after the initial excitement and euphoria of meeting relatives and cousins mellows down a bit, the afternoon would fly by sorting out the books, trying to find whatever interesting books I can. 🙂 After that I would stack up everything on one side of the shelf. That would be my collection for the rest of the summer season, till I head back home !!! 😀
I still find myself smiling, thinking about those memories !!! 🙂 Now, I can’t help thinking, where has all that excitement and enthusiasm for a book gone !!! How can I be missing so much of positive feelings that I once had with books ??? May be I am missing that spot !!! May be I need to find myself another such spot to rekindle the Fervor !!!
Do you ever get the feeling that you sometimes associate certain activities with the place you used to do it from. You know, that you are so used to performing an activity from a set place of yours that subconsciously you don’t think about that particular activity unless you are at that place or think about that place ??? The Zone. I’ve felt that way. Quite often in fact.
Hmmm !!! Now that I’ve said that, I think I should start looking out for a park bench under the shade or a spot to lie down by the beach to finish the remaining half of the book. 🙂 And hopefully, one that can keep me going back to it, like i used to !!! 🙂

The dying artist !!!

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It’s been a while since I sat down to write. Come think to think of it, feels like it’s been a while since I’ve done anything worth while. Seems as though I’ve lost touch with what IS worthwhile.
Just the other day I started drawing, after I don’t know how long. And somewhere along the way didn’t go further. I just stopped and didn’t feel like finishing it.
I don’t know how far this piece is going to go as well. Not too long ago, these things used to excite me very much. Off late I seem to have lost that sparkle. Somehow it feels like the artist in me is dying. And I suppose I AM letting him.
But I don’t want him to. So how do I keep him alive and kicking !!! Keep feeding him things to do, may be !!! That should be it, isn’t it ???
Last time I drew something, I picked a scene to draw and frankly I wasn’t quite sure I was good enough to do it. But boy did it turn out fine! I have to tell you I surprised myself with that one.
But I didn’t draw anything after that. Have I become too lazy now to even care ??? Sometimes feel so.
I’d hate to think that way. Too Lazy to use your skill !!! Too lazy to do something you are good at !!! I mean surely that should not be an excuse, should it !!!
Laziness is quite the demon. But you can fight him. It just takes a lot of perseverance. And when I do that to finish my drawing or blog, it gives that much more satisfaction and happiness. It’s just that those moments tend to be few and far between. You have to keep at it. Mind you he will resurface. But you just have to keep pushing the demon down and try to hold him there.
Let’s see if I can persevere enough to finish that drawing I started, and keep going to the next drawing or blog.